The fears I can't conquer

for a long time i was never scared of anything.   

 

     or at least i didn't think i was.  

          but then i got older. i read things and thought different things. and things happened that happened to me before. and suddenly, i was scared of everything 

 . . .of forgetting a day of my life 

of waking up where i hadn't fallen asleep-not like sleep walking 

not of the dark, but what's IN it 

of being lost in the woods at night and not knowing what anything is 

of being blind-like the lady in Wait Until Dark 

of learning from a doctor that i'm dying 

of losing everything that matters most to me  

of not being able to forget something you need to

of being completely alone and not recovering from a seizure  . . . 

and that's not all. the list goes on and on. a handful of these i have actually experienced. 

and i could  never wish them upon my worst enemy.  

not that i "wouldn't" wish it upon someone else, or that i "shouldn't", but that i couldn't ever.