The night I almost died

There have been plenty of times that I've been involved in things that have ended up changing me. Not all of those times have been good situations. This story is from one of those times.   

   Last summer I went down to Hurricane, a little "Hick town" on the way to St. George. Lots of my Dad's side of the family lives there. My cousins Taylor and Ceanna invited my brother and I to a bonfire. Taylor's boyfriend Callin and Brock, a friend of their's, picked us up on the way.   

  We drove out to where the bonfire would be and there were already lots of people. One boy, Jimmy, ran by Callin's truck and asked us where the spray paint cans were. Now spray paint cans are seriously flammable. Jimmy was known for getting in trouble and being on drugs. Little did we know, but Jimmy was on drugs that night.  

   Not long after that, Jimmy found the spray paint  cans and threw a few of them on the bonfire. Taylor had Callin come move his truck because it was really close to the fire. These two guys got bored so they threw a couch on. Yeah, the things  that happen in small "hick towns." The couch totally exploded, making the fire really really hot. Callin had to move his truck even further away so nothing would happen to it. 

Jimmy got ahold of some more spray paint cans and threw them on the fire. One of these was close enough to the fire to ignite but still far enough away that it was kind of close to us. The can spun in a circle, a moving ball of fire. Ceanna and I vaulted out of the truck and took off in the opposite direction of the fire. 

We ended up giving Jimmy a ride home that night. We at least know that he got home safe that night, but we can't speak for anything that happened after we left. Taylor got a text a minute or so later that one of the other boys that had shown up to the bonfire had ended up getting shot and was in the E. R. The bullet passed by all of the vital organs, but its a miracle the kid os even alive. My cousin Taylor was really worried because she's pretty good friends with that kid and lots of sketchy things happened that night.  

Taylor told me later that if she'd known that Jimmy was going to show up at the bonfire, she wouldn't have said anything about going because she knew how much trouble Jimmy was.

Here I am, this is me

I asked my friends to describe the real me and these are their responses:

Sabrina Lindsley: Full of light and goodness, kind, compassionate, very wise and thoughtful and intelligent; a softness and gentleness; reliable and helpful;giving, spiritual and insightful with things pertaining to the gospel; cheerful and easygoing yet a strong and brave person. One of my favorite memories was a few years ago at girls camp singing all those old classic songs with you.  
Emily McFadden: Smart, caring, loyal, friendly, a good writer, kind, funny. You're a great leader. 
Cammi Reagan:strong willed, Once your mind is set on something, it's hard to derail you. You've got spirit in you. You dance in the rain and laugh as you walk through snow piles. You have a great sense of humor.You see the world as an adventure. You're strong, you're curious. You can always see the stars at night. You're complex. You're always there for your friends and family. 
Cadha Bowman: Secretly sassy, or hilarious, wonderful, loyal 
Anna Hansen: sweetest thing there ever was, bright spirit about you, you brighten up the room with your smile. creative and beautiful I'm so happy that I know you! spiritual and inspirational 
Becky Anderson:loyal, trustworthy friend, wise beyond you're years, light of goodness and love, without guile, adores family, first to volunteer, not afraid to do hard things, smart, takes studies seriously, moving to Utah as a teenager and leaving friends behind was hard, however you have made the most of it! 
Rachel Patterson: intelligent, humble, and soft spoken, love to write and have a creative mind, friendly to everyone, observant and also willing to help without complaining 
Hayley Chadwick: sweet, caring, nice, smart, and thoughtful 
Taylor Jones: quiet(until you get to know you), determined, thoughtful, spiritual, funny, loves animals, enthusiastic, fun-loving 
Hope Welch:quiet, but super fun once you get to know you, great friend, loyal, super duper kind, reaaaallyyyy smart, very considerate of others 
Bailey Raban: Magical :) 
Teagan Clegg: sweet, loving and kind! 
Gabi Aragon: at first you're very shy, but once someone gets to know you, you're so funny and crazy, secretly sassy and come up with hilarious comments on the spot, so kind and you love everyone, you never say anything negative about anyone else, willing to serve those around you, an extremely loyal friend, supportive, love to write and take the time to notice people 
Emily Niederhauser: just really funny memories that I could never forget 
Paige Peper: funny, sweet, you can rock a hair wrap, you like to do fun different creative things like fairy gardens and cow-pie clocks 
Faith Jensen: pleasant to be around,good listener, very sweet, peaceful quiet presence, smile is really genuine, feels deeply about friendships 
Ashley Porcelli: kind, likes to make people comfortable, great sense of humor, brings a good spirit and feeling about, appreciates people for who they are, loves to laugh 
Abb'ey Volden: Narnia, Fantastic writer, my best friend, Colorado girl 
Amy Miller: super sweet and always kind, so cool for having moved here later than everybody else/ not growing up with everybody- still so friendly 
Rachel Wagner: fun to be around,happy, positive, always tries hard(even when nobody wants to dance), fun-loving, not afraid to be yourself 
Kelli Packer: Electric 
Kamdyn Larsen: kind, fun, soft spoken, compassionate, intelligent, faithful, passionate, calm,loving, obedient, willing, teachable               

  i really do have a wild side

 

 

Here I am. This is me. 

-ivy shumway

Never have I ever

 Know how lots of people create lists of firsts they've had?  

Maybe for assignments 

or just to get the creative juices flowing? 

Well, I haven't had a lot of firsts  

but maybe someday I will. 

1. Never have I ever kissed a boy

2. Never have I ever been on a date where the guy asked   

3. Never have I ever read Twilight-and hope I never will  

4. Never have I ever enjoyed a romance book/movie 

5. Never have I ever been a fast runner 

6. Never have I ever skipped school 

7. Never have I ever had a boyfriend-i've had guy friends, but never a boyfriend 

8. Never have I ever been good at art 

9. Never have I ever been outside the U.S. 

10. Never have I ever played hockey 

11. Never have I ever published a book 

12. Never have I ever owned a mammal as a pet 

13. Never have I ever jumped out of an airplane 

14. Never have I ever had a nose ring 

15. Never have I ever been married 

16. Never have I ever successfully hiked a 14er 

17. Never have I ever been hunting 

18. Never have I ever not had a cousin 

19. Never have I ever stolen anything 

20. Never have I ever read Moby Dick

A letter to Death

Dear Dear, 

I've been hearing that people are afraid of you. You sneak up on them and steal them. You tease  

people who are sick, the old and the young. You are always watching everyone. I've heard that you

 gamble with God for the souls of the living. You lie. You cheat. You always think you can win. But

 seem to times where you get really close to getting a souls and then you lose it. Sometimes you lose.

 Sometimes you win. But you see, this game of yours isn't going to end. As long as you and God are 

both around, this isn't over. Some people may be afraid of you, but not me. I know that you'll find me 

someday, but today is not that day. 

Sinceraly, 

Me

The fears I can't conquer

for a long time i was never scared of anything.   

 

     or at least i didn't think i was.  

          but then i got older. i read things and thought different things. and things happened that happened to me before. and suddenly, i was scared of everything 

 . . .of forgetting a day of my life 

of waking up where i hadn't fallen asleep-not like sleep walking 

not of the dark, but what's IN it 

of being lost in the woods at night and not knowing what anything is 

of being blind-like the lady in Wait Until Dark 

of learning from a doctor that i'm dying 

of losing everything that matters most to me  

of not being able to forget something you need to

of being completely alone and not recovering from a seizure  . . . 

and that's not all. the list goes on and on. a handful of these i have actually experienced. 

and i could  never wish them upon my worst enemy.  

not that i "wouldn't" wish it upon someone else, or that i "shouldn't", but that i couldn't ever.

 

 

      

 

wanderlust

i don't know if i could really tell you what its like to be human. i haven't known anything else, so i couldn't tell you what that's like. but i'll try.  

 being human is being afraid, falling and scraping your knees, getting frustrated and crying. it's realizing that you aren't alone-ever. but also being completely alone.

it's having internal struggles that never seem to end.  

being human is being in pain, having medical emergencies, and being in situations that are less than ideal. some things you just can't control. try as you might, but maybe Someone Else has a better plan for you. 

being human is that feeling of your stomach dropping. the fluttery feeling when you're uneasy about something but you don't know what it is. how you're antsy and just can't keep still. that's human. 

 human is having that gut determination to do something and never give up. being human is giving up too. it's realizing that you have three choices in life: to give up, give in, or give it all you've got.  

human is the feeling of  wanderlust-having a strong impulse to wander and travel, wishing to be somewhere you can never go.

#different

So that's what they call a family
Mother daughter father son
Guess that everything you heard about is true
So you ain't got any family
Well, who said you needed one
Ain't ya glad nobody's waiting up for you
When I dream on my own
I'm alone but I ain't lonely
For a dreamer nights the only time of day
When the city's finally sleeping and my thoughts begin to stray
And I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe
And I'm free like the wind
Like I'm gonna live forever
It's a feeling time can never take away
All I need's a few more dollars
And I'm outta here to stay
Dreams comes true, yes they do
In Santa Fe
Where does it say you gotta live and die here
Where does it say a guy can't catch a break
Why should you only take what your given
Why should you spend your whole life livin'
Trapped where there ain't no future even at 17
Breaking your back for someone else's sake
If the life don't seem to suit ya how bout a change of scene
Far from the lousy headlines and the deadlines in between
Santa Fe, are you there
Do you swear you won't forget me
If I found you would you let me come and stay
I ain't getting any younger
and before my dying day
I want space, not just air
Let them laugh in my face
I don't care
Save my place
I'll be there
So that's what they call a family
Ain't ya glad you ain't that way
Ain't ya glad you've got a dream called
Santa Fe

Read more:  Newsies - Santa Fe Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

I felt like this may be a little bit different. The world of Newsies is one of my favorite. And this is where I'd rather be right now.